An "expensive" bridal gift ( Mahr) and Prophet Musa AS

Quranic guidance on the bridal gift

Many Muslims see the Mahr (The bridal gift) as an unnecessary obstacle for men to get married. I have heard a number of Sheikhs who rightfully condemn parents who marry their daughters for very large amounts which puts greats difficulty for the future husband to be. At the same time, They promote reducing it as low as possible and we always hear how the best Mahr is the least amount and should be as little as possible because it is "Sunna"! They forget that this was in the context of the Sahabah RA who knew one another and who had the Prophet SAW who was guided by Allah SWT in their affairs. 

Allah SWT has elevated the status of the bridal gift and placed great importance on it in the Quran. HE SWT called it صَدُقَة - which is a bridal gift denoting صِدق - sincere intentions of a man to marry a woman.

We live in a time of great confusion where what you see is not what you usually get, including in marriage!  

The best example of a marriage in our times is the timeless guidance of the Quran related to the marriage of Musa AS.

The righteous man when offering his daughter in marriage to Musa AS says:

قَالَ إِنِّي أُرِيدُ أَنْ أُنكِحَكَ إِحْدَى ابْنَتَيَّ هَاتَيْنِ عَلَىٰ أَن تَأْجُرَنِي ثَمَانِيَ حِجَجٍ ۖ فَإِنْ أَتْمَمْتَ عَشْرًا فَمِنْ عِندِكَ ۖ وَمَا أُرِيدُ أَنْ أَشُقَّ عَلَيْكَ ۚ سَتَجِدُنِي إِن شَاءَ اللَّهُ مِنَ الصَّالِحِينَ

"Indeed, I wish to wed you one of my two daughters, on the condition that you serve me for 8 years; but if you complete 10 years, it will be as a favor from you. And I do not wish to put you in difficulty. You will find me, if Allāh wills, from among the righteous." Surat Al Qasas 28:27

So what we see is that the Bridal gift that was given was:

1. large in value (8/10 years of wages in exchange for marriage and a place to stay).

2. It was achievable by the groom. It was at least 8 years of effort but achievable so it was not an obstacle to make marriage difficult or delaying it.

3. The marriage helped solve an issue on both sides. The father and daughters had someone who could help them in their daily duties and and Musa AS had a home and a new loving family. 

As an example of how this could work today is: a husband could pay his wife $5000 per year (assuming it is reasonable based on his yearly earnings) for 10 years straight ( $50,000 ) and if he divorced her prior to that, then he would need to pay the pending amount or she can forsake part or all of it depending on what the divorced woman wants.  

This will make marriage more attainable for men on lower incomes and at the same time it will weed out the “boys” from the men, who are willing to commit to a lifelong marriage as the breadwinners and fulfilling their obligation as Al Qawwamun (caretakers) of woman.